GBA!

The Good.

Fall. Rain. Eating an entire symphony bar in one sitting. Babies playing with your hair. Pregnant dreams (nothing is in my womb, in fact my uterus lining is tearing at this very moment). Bed. Making hubbymchubzhubz laugh. Looking forward to Halloween. Watching Ellen season 11 clips, I've missed her. Today is my work week Friday. YouTube videos.

The Bad.

I wish I had socks on, and I hate socks. X Factor only on Hulu Plus. 

The Awkward.

Whelp, I decided to watch the fox song on YouTube. I should've stayed oblivious. And then I saw Sam, who danced at his bar mitzvah....do watch that. Look it up. Obviously YouTube visors is under the good and the awkward, because those words go hand in hand in my book, ladies and gentleman. Yes, gentleman, because the only male reading this bad boy is my big, hot, mancrush! Hi babe.

Picture

That time I was sitting on the driveway and I looked up and exclaimed that I needed a camera.

Deadish

I have been dressing like it's fall the past few weeks in anticipation. Layers are good, celestial things. But then this little baby of mine...mine does not mean she came out of my personal woohoo but rather that I keep her alive 2 days a week, 20 hours...she had a cold. And what did my body do? It snatched that cold up like I snatch up dollar bills on the ground at VS. Yep, that happened.

It's still 80 to 95 degrees out. My mindset may be fall-esque, but that doesn't mean it is so! The saddest part is, this freaking stinking cold reminded me that fall very quickly leads to winter, where I feel crappy, plugged, and like I must eat your brains (zombie mode) at least 90% of the time. At least. Now I don't even want my favorite time of the year to approach. Give me back my flip flops and daisy dukes! 'Cause we all know I wear that constantly...

Sleep, or lack thereof

I have terrible sleep every night of the week. Thanks dad. 

For awhile I thought that my sleep was improving. I think it was just from exhaustion from working my first, and probably only, manual labor job. No, not everyone in retail spends their shifts folding and focusing your attention on buying more to save more. I've got the guns to prove it.

So maybe I need to fit exercise into my regimen. Don't laugh. I just really don't like it!

How I sleep soundly:

•tv on. Quiet, but I must be able to easily hear what is being said. 

•cold, but not with a fan. Fans blur the speaking I MUST hear.

•sheep blanket, hubbymchubzhubz least favorite. Oh dear blanket, we have traveled all around the country together. Even across the Atlantic. BFFs.

•on stomach, head barely on the corner of my pillow, facing off the bed, hands tucked under my body, unclenched.

•husband nearby, please.

How do I grow out of these yuckyuck habits!!!

huzzah to one year down!

As a child I was timid and shy. I didn't want to try new things in fear it would draw attention to myself, especially negative attention. This eventually led me to believe that I wasn't cut out for anything.

That I had very few, mediocre talents.

As I developed a sense of self, I felt obliged to be proud of my unique talents. No, I could not play a single sport, but I sure did have a nurturing heart. Definitely don't ever want to be put on a stage, at least I think of others' feelings. Can't sing, but I can shop. Oil painting is impossible, however I have mean calligraphy skills. 

There were a few people down the way that did not see my talents as I tried to seem them. But this is where I found my best friends, developed more meaningful relationships.

Well, they felt more meaningful to me.

The truly unbelievable part,

I met a man who has the ability to be good at anything he tries to. 

A trait I despise.

He also saw the good in me.

I can't fathom how much I have grown in the past year since we've been married. 

I've grown.

Catching and throwing isn't the scariest thing in the world either. I can shoot hoops. He loves my singing voice. My art is the prettiest. 

I still seem to get injured by sports, without being on the court. 

But the talents I already had, they feel far more important now. They are what make me a good wife, a good friend, a good future mother. 

So, huzzah!

This was written about a month ago, on our 1 year anniversary.