Easter Candy

I went to Target to buy a lot of things I don't need. 

When I was checking out, the cashier said, "So are you going to eat all of this chocolate while you do your yoga?"

She didn't read that it said pregnancy on it. 

"Yep!"

"Well, that's one way to do it,"she replied. 

"It's not like I'm trying to lose weight."

"I wish I had that problem."

"I'm pregnant..."

.....

"So I'm going to eat all of the chocolate that I want."

"I'm still trying to lose my baby weight."

And that was the end of that conversation. Am I the only one that frequently has these kinds of moments? No wonder I stay away from humankind. 

Just let me fly to Utah! Let me eat my chocolate! Let me spend a Saturday in bed without telling me I'm lazy! Let me eat my processed food! 

Woo, hormones. They're a beast.

Jan. 17th

This is the fourth day of being crampy. I had to wake Marcus up the other night because my cramps were so intense. Why am I not bleeding yet? It's like this period will last me 10 days at the rate it's going now. I should probably just go pee on a stick so I know with a certainty that I'm not pregnant, while I wait to bleed. I mean, that one time...my app said I was barely fertile. There's no way I would be pregnant. 

*reads box*

Okay, so it takes 3 minutes for it to read your pee. And today is the day I would be starting my period so even if it's negative, I should take another one in a few days to double check.

*pees. Looks at the test, already says I'm pregnant*

Holy crap! I'm a fertile myrtle! What have I done?!?! Wow. I can't believe it! Yay! Holy Shi. I'm freaking out. How should I tell Marcus? What could I do? As if I could wait all day to tell him! 

*grabs phone*

Bun in my oven

Holy cow! I'm actually pregnant! 

Oh my gosh, I'm so pregnant.

I am for reals pregnant!!!